File this under "only responses out of 10,000 DVD's left at various locations"
"I am sorry to say, but I picked up a copy of your movie at Residuals last night, I finally put it on this morning, and I have to say that it was SO embarrassingly bad, I couldn't make it past 24 mins. I wish I could say something good about it, I really do. If film making is your dream, you might want to revaluate your goals, because if what I have unfortunately seen is what's to come in the future, your in trouble."
Anonymous (e-mail)

Date: Mon, Sep 30, 2002, 9:57pm
Interesting way of promoting your film...leaving it lying around in the Palisades. You got me curious, so I watched it...the first 10 minutes of it. But then, I realized that my life and my time was way to valuable to be spending watching such a piece of shit. To think that you could have spent your money on a much more worthy cause or personal item of self indulgence is a shame. I thought that "Freddy Got Fingured" was the dumbest first ten minutes in cinema that I'd ever seen, but your film tops this... Well, you wanted to "Know what we think"...I say, got out of the film, making business...you suck.
DM

One of your more ardent fans came over yesterday afternoon and proudly played most of your film for me. I had to write. This movie is so bad, it would leave the puppets of Mystery Science Theater 3000 speachless. It's the film Ed Wood would have made, if they dug up his corpse, turned it into a zombie, and gave it 99-cents to make a movie.
Sincerely, Steve Cyrkin

IT SUCKS ,IT MAKES NO SENSE, THE ARTSY SHIT SUCKS AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU
GOT ANY FUNDING AT ALL
Dogpaw

"How totally lame...is that how desperate they are at Layola...?"
Anonymous

"You suck... "
Debbie

"Dude, my friend bought about 200 copies of your movie from a homeless guy in LA last week and he kept one of them after using the rest as frizbees in the street and handing them out to people that night. We watched it and it was just a fucked up movie about a guy walking around trying to sell watches and just being fuckin retarded. There seemed to be no point to the movie what so ever. Nothing exciting ever happened in the movie *except for the few times that he fell and blood came out of his head, that was kinda neat* but aside from that, your movie was mindless scenes of stupidness, and I would sue you for waisting my time, but I'm afraid to see what you look like. Your stupid and your movie is stupid, your movie makes you come across as a 13 year old whose pissed off about puberty and girls rejecting him. Get over your whiny bull-shit self and if your gonna make a movie, make a good one with a plot. I hated your stupid-ass movie, it's stuck in my head and I hate you the more I think about it."
Anonymous

You know what? When I first got a copy of your video and the letter that accompanied it a while back, I thought, "Wow! What GREAT marketing! This guy actually piqued my interest so much, I now HAVE to watch his film! I'll bet all that negative trash talk and quotes is a bunch of lies, and I'm going to be BLOWN AWAY by a MASTERPIECE of a low-budget gem!!"

But after watching it all in about 2.5 minutes flat (on fast forward 99% of the time), I absolutely KNEW I had to email you.

You are not a MOVIEMAKER. You are NOT an auteur. You are nothing but TRASH! You have ZERO TALENT. There is NOTHING of merit in your video -- NOTHING.

It's not even "TRASH" in the sense of "art." It is UNWATCHABLE in any capacity, in any form. You can not even claim victory if you think you were out to "piss people off" with your video, or "make a movie that is pure trash." There is nothing CONSCIOUS about what you "shot." Any effort at TRASH was incomprehensible MUSH.

I would tell you to keep your day job, but I'll bet you can't even keep that! You probably still live at home and are a homosexual animal lover or a child pornographer. You (if you are the actor in the shit film) LOOK like a fucking pervert!

Even all the "extra" bullshit on your video, and your "prior works" were unwatchable! The midevil crap was CRAP.

If you were in front of me I'd drop kick you and seek a way to put you out of your misery. It would be the only humane thing to do. You have got to be the most fucked-up human being on the face of this planet. You should be locked up! You are a menace to society! You are a piece of fucking shit on the bottom of my shoe!

YOUR MOVIE SUCKS! YOU ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE A FILMMAKER! DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND KILL YOURSELF! YOU'D BE DOING ALL OF NATURE A FAVOR!

Fuck you, loser cock-sucker!

YOUR MAMA, BITCH!
Anonymous

"Watched your movie, completely pathetic waste of time. And you say you've been making films for 20 years? Dude, you are not only a retarded mental case but a pathetic loser--I saw you leaving your DVD's outside of Rocket Video last week. Are so stupid as to waste your money and time? I have never encountered such a fuckin dumb idiot who wastes his money on leaving his stupid movie about a fat child pervert around for people to pick up. They should arrest you and throw you in an institution, you are a menace to not only society but especially movie-lovers. That other dude was right you just KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW. You would be doing the world a favor!"
Jimbo

"Ayy fatty, saw you in Malibu the other day leaving your stupid disgusting movie around. Are you so stupid not to realize your stupid dumb-ass waste of a movie blew all over the highway because of high wind gusts? (duuuuhhh--maybe I should leave my movie out in the wind today beause I am a big fat dumb baby huey!) I had my rifle out with you in the scope, I sware I wanted to pull the trigger. Put your stupid ass out of misery but it ain't worth it. Hey dummy your DVD's got run over 100 times and smashed up by cars, lots of pieces of plastic in the street. You should throw YOURSELF out in the street dummy."
Anonymous

"My name is Larry **** I'm an attorney for an unnamed client who is serving a lawsuit against you. You have harrassed my client by sending multiple DVD's to her home and this is a breach of conduct as stated by California law. You can either return my call or be served a summons, thank you very much."
Attorney (voice mail)

"I am the manager for ****** Please stop leaving your DVD's outside of our business or we shall contact the authorities. I also have a private security staff who have spotted and identified you on occassion. If they see you in the area again they will teach you a lesson you will not forget. Have a nice day"
Stan ********

"A Conversation with Director Hubert Cornfield" (Pressure Point, Night of the Following Day)
(10.11.02 11:52pm) I am too busy to see your film, but even if I wasn't I would pass due to the reviews you sent me and your self depricating attitude. Have you really been making films for twenty years?? How old are you anyway?
     
(10.12.02 6:45am) Oh don't give me that "too busy" line, everybody says that. The plain fact is that nobody cares anymore about anything, it's not that their "too busy", it's just that they do-not-care, or are completely disinterested. It's perfectly normal human nature. There's nothing interesting or exciting going on these days to be "busy" with anyway, those times are long gone. People are just waiting for the end in a state of irritated, moody, jaded, flustered apathy and underlying dysphoric gloom. The film industry has withered and died in a final pathetic gasp of commercial tripe and recycled idea's, leaving a cold homogenized wake of bland multi-plex theatres, inept audiences and cheap flavor-of the-moment talent. The planet is dying, the human spirit is dying, creativity has died, people are making a final pitiful gasp at surrounding themselves with empty longings and deluded hopes, so don't give me this "too busy" nonsense.

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